Online Grooming: What It Is and How to Stay Safe

What is Grooming?

Online grooming is when someone pretends to be your friend, but their real goal is to manipulate or exploit you, usually in a sexual or abusive way.

They might message you through games, socials, or chat apps and come across as friendly, cool, or supportive at first. But they’re hiding who they really are. Once they gain your trust, they may try to:

• Get personal photos or videos from you.
• Make you feel guilty, scared, or confused.
• Push you into keeping secrets.
• Ask to meet up in real life.

It can happen to anyone. And it’s never your fault.

How Grooming Happens

Fake Friendships

They might pretend to be your age or even act like a mentor or someone who understands you better than others.

Flattery and Gifts

Compliments. Game credits. Even real stuff like clothes or phones. It’s all to make you feel special, and to make you feel like you “owe” them something.

Secrecy

They’ll tell you not to tell anyone about your chats. “Other people wouldn’t understand.” That’s a big red flag.

Emotional Manipulation

They may guilt trip you (“After all I’ve done for you”) or make threats if you try to stop talking to them.

Sharing Inappropriate Content

They might send sexual content or ask you to send things you’re not comfortable with.

Who’s At Risk?

Anyone can be groomed. But some young people are more likely to be targeted, especially if they:

• Feel isolated or left out.
• Are in care or facing family challenges.
• Are neurodivergent or have a disability.
• Don’t have strong digital boundaries or adult support.
• Are struggling with confidence or self-esteem.

Groomers pick people they think they can manipulate—not because there’s anything wrong with you, but because they want control.

Signs to Look Out For

Whether it’s happening to you or a friend, here are some signs that someone may be getting groomed:

• Becoming really secretive about their online activity.
• Hiding screens or suddenly switching off chats.
• Spending loads of time online late at night.
• Acting anxious, upset, angry, or suddenly withdrawn.
• Receiving gifts or money from someone they haven’t met.
• Using multiple or fake social media accounts.
• Possessing inappropriate or sexual content.

What To Do If You’re Worried

Don’t keep it to yourself

Even if it started out feeling like a real friendship, grooming is never okay. Talk to someone you trust. You’re not in trouble.

Save the messages

Don’t delete anything. Screenshots, usernames, and message logs can help people investigate and protect you.

Block and report

Use the app’s tools to block them and report what’s happened.

Trust your gut

If something feels off, it probably is. Real friends won’t ask you to keep secrets, send pics, or make you feel uncomfortable.

What If You’re Worried About a Friend?

• Let them know you’re there for them.
• Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult.
• Don’t panic—but don’t ignore it either.
• You can report it anonymously if you need to.

‍

You deserve to feel safe and respected online. If someone’s trying to trick or pressure you, it’s not your fault. Speak up. The sooner you do, the more power you take away from them.