What is Grooming?
There’s a chance that your child may meet people online that aren’t who they say they are. Online grooming occurs when an adult builds a fake friendship with a child online to manipulate, exploit, or abuse them. Groomers contact kids through games, social media, or chat apps. They use compliments, gifts, or secrets to build trust. Over time, they push for inappropriate photos or meetings. The ultimate goal is often to exploit the child sexually, either online or in person
Who is at Risk?
- Online studies have found girls are at greater risk of being targeted than boys
- Offenders online tend to target the child that appears isolated or in the ‘out group’ among peers
- Children in care
- Neurodivergent children
- Children facing financial hardships.
How Grooming Happens Online
- Fake friendships – They pretend to be someone trustworthy(a teen, mentor, or sympathetic listener)
- Gradual manipulation – Starts with compliments/gifts,then escalates to inappropriate requests
- Isolation – Encourages kids to keep chats secret fromfamily and friends
- Emotional blackmail – Uses guilt ("I helpedyou") or threats to control the child
- Exposure to harmful content – Shares sexual material orpressures for explicit images
Signs to Watch For
Recognising online grooming isn't always straightforward, but several behavioural and situational signs may indicate that a child is being targeted:
- Secrecy about online activities or new friendships: Children may suddenly become private about who they are talking to or hide screens when adults are nearby. They may avoid answering questions about new friends or conversations.
- Noticeable behavioural changes: Groomed children may appear withdrawn, anxious, angry, or depressed. These changes might be abrupt and uncharacteristic.
- Receiving unexplained gifts or money: Groomers often send gifts, including mobile phones, games, or clothes, to build trust and create a sense of obligation.
- Spending excessive time online, especially at night: Grooming often occurs late at night when parental supervision is lower. Sudden changes in sleep patterns or insistence on privacy online could be warning signs.
- Accessing or possessing inappropriate content: Children may be exposed to or possess sexually explicit content, either sent by a groomer or accessed through manipulative behaviour.
- Having multiple social media accounts or using someone else’s profile: This could be an attempt to hide communications with someone unknown to their parents or guardians.
What Can Parents do? - Tips For Talking
1. Open Communication
- Talk regularly about their online life: Make conversations about digital experiences a routine part of daily life. Ask open-ended questions about what they enjoy, who they talk to, and how those interactions make them feel.
- Create a safe, non-judgemental environment: Children are more likely to open up if they feel they won’t be punished or judged for their honesty. Reassure them that their safety is your priority.
- Discuss the risks of sharing personal information: Explain how photos, addresses, or school details can be used by predators. Teach them what is safe to share and why.
2. Set Boundaries and Guidelines
- Establish clear internet rules: Define acceptable websites, apps, and time limits. Involve your child in creating these rules to encourage accountability.
- Use parental controls: Employ filters and tools to restrict access to harmful content and monitor activity. These tools are a safety net—not a replacement for supervision.
- Supervise and review online interactions: Keep devices in shared family spaces when possible. Periodically review chats, friend lists, and posts with your child.
3. Educate About Online Safety
- Teach them to be critical of online identities: Help them understand that not everyone online is who they claim to be. Discuss how to verify identities and spot lies.
- Help them recognise grooming red flags: Teach signs like excessive flattery, secrecy, or any requests to keep conversations private or hidden from adults.
- Promote digital literacy and safety habits: Encourage them to use privacy settings, block suspicious users, and report inappropriate behaviour. Foster confidence in taking action.
