Understanding online bullying

What is Online Bullying?

Online bullying, also known as cyberbullying, is a form of bullying that takes place through digital technology, via mobile phones, tablets, computers, and gaming consoles. It includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, or false content about someone else, often repeatedly and with intent to harm or embarrass.

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It can happen on social media, messaging apps, gaming platforms, email, or even in group chats. Common examples include:

• Children and teens, especially aged 10–17, who spend significant time online
• Young people from minority backgrounds, who may face racial or cultural exclusion
• Children who are perceived as ‘different’, such as LGBTQ+ youth, or those with disabilities
• High users of gaming or social media platforms
• Children lacking strong digital supervision or emotional support

What makes online bullying particularly harmful is its ability to follow a child everywhere, school, home, and even during sleep, with the potential for wide, public exposure and permanent digital footprints.

Who is at risk?

Anyone can become a target of cyberbullying, but certain groups are more vulnerable:

• Children and teens, especially aged 10–17, who spend significant time online
• Young people from minority backgrounds, who may face racial or cultural exclusion
• Children who are perceived as ‘different’, such as LGBTQ+ youth, or those with disabilities
• High users of gaming or social media platforms
• Children lacking strong digital supervision or emotional support

What makes online bullying particularly harmful is its ability to follow a child everywhere, school, home, and even during sleep, with the potential for wide, public exposure and permanent digital footprints.

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Real story: Bullied and bombarded with harmful content

Molly was a bright, creative teenager who died by suicide in 2017. She had been bullied by classmates online and her social feeds became filled with self-harm and suicide-related content recommended by algorithms. Her family didn’t realise what she was seeing until it was too late. An inquest later found that social media “contributed more than minimally” to her death.

How online bullying starts

Online bullying can start subtly—with a joke or teasing in a group chat—and escalate rapidly. Here’s how:

• Anonymity online emboldens bullies to act without fear of consequence
• Peer pressure leads some children to join in harmful behaviour
• Unmonitored device use opens the door to inappropriate behaviour
• Personal conflicts, jealousy, or past trauma can fuel bullying
• False trust can lead to manipulation or “trickery” where private info is leaked

Online, boundaries can be blurred, and “banter” can quickly turn into abuse.

Signs to look out for

It’s not always easy to tell if a child is being cyberbullied. But common warning signs include:

• Suddenly avoiding devices or becoming anxious when notifications arrive
• Withdrawal from family, friends, or activities
• Reluctance to go to school
• Sleep problems or frequent headaches/stomach aches
• Changes in mood, eating, or appearance
• Drop in school performance
• Hiding screens or being secretive about online activity
• Visible distress after going online

Children often feel ashamed or afraid to speak up, so it’s vital to watch for these cues.

Tips for talking

Starting the conversation can feel tricky. Here are some tips to help:

• Choose a calm, private moment, avoid talking when emotions are high
• Ask open-ended questions like:
  
  • “How are things going online with your friends?”
  • “Have you seen anyone being picked on digitally?”
• Avoid judgement or panic, stay calm and listen carefully
• Share your own experiences to show empathy
• Emphasise that they’re not alone, and you’re there to help
• Reinforce that bullying is never their fault

Sometimes, children will talk more when walking, drawing, or doing an activity—don’t force a face-to-face chat if it feels uncomfortable.